This is for you, this is for me.
This is for anyone in the middle of the storm.
You are so brave. I am so proud of you.
I know this feels like shit right now. And it is. It is totally shit.
From the outside what I see is you in the fire. You are in the alchemic transformation that is personal growth (that’s right, I’m about to get woo up in here). I suspect right now you probably don’t feel a lot of love for yourself. You’re probably giving yourself a lot of shit for all of this. Here’s what I see: I see you becoming more and more yourself. More of the soul that we love, respect and admire. A courageous soul. Who is daily becoming clearer on what you value, what you want and what you want (or at least definitely don’t want) to do with your life.
I have an inkling that on the other side of all of this, eventually, you are going to look back at this moment in time with a tender (sore) fondness and regard it as a favourite pothole. The one that was fucking awful AND the one that taught you a lot. The one that helped you learn what really mattered to you, what you truly value and pointed you in the direction of what you really want in life. The one that taught you the about vulnerability and self compassion. The one that taught you how much we all need people in our lives who will show up and stay when things are tough.
But back to now. You are on the hero’s journey. This right now, this is the rising action - when the shit has hit the fan. To quote a loved one: "One day, far in the future, we will hopefully learn how to stop throwing shit at the fan." But in the mean time, here’s what I have to offer: where you are right now, is not going to last forever. That, I can promise. Because of that, be in it now, embrace the discomfort as best you can, try to learn everything that you can from it - because there is so much to learn here. And be gentle with yourself. And know that you are not alone in it. I’m here too.
I love you so much. You are my hero.